Writing tips for managing and resolving conflict is probably a little like developing tips for quantum mechanics. The subject is complex and is not going to be mastered through quick tips.
That being said, keep these tips in mind when dealing with conflict. Managing and resolving conflict requires a quick reduction of stress and balanced emotions. You can ensure that the process is as positive as possible by sticking to the following conflict resolution guidelines:
- Listen for what is felt as well as said. When we listen we connect more deeply to our own needs and emotions, and to those of other people. Listening in this way also strengthens us, informs us, and makes it easier for others to hear us.
- Make conflict resolution the priority rather than winning or “being right.” Maintaining and strengthening the relationship, rather than “winning” the argument, should always be your first priority. Be respectful of the other person and his or her viewpoint.
- Focus on the present. If you’re holding on to old hurts and resentments, your ability to see the reality of the current situation will be impaired. Rather than looking to the past and assigning blame, focus on what you can do in the here-and-now to solve the problem.
- Pick your battles. Conflicts can be draining, so it’s important to consider whether the issue is really worthy of your time and energy. Maybe you don’t want to surrender a parking space if you’ve been circling for 15 minutes. But if there are dozens of spots, arguing over a single space isn’t worth it.
- Be willing to forgive. Resolving conflict is impossible if you’re unwilling or unable to forgive. Resolution lies in releasing the urge to punish, which can never compensate for our losses and only adds to our injury by further depleting and draining our lives.
- Know when to let something go. If you can’t come to an agreement, agree to disagree. It takes two people to keep an argument going. If a conflict is going nowhere, you can choose to disengage and move on.
Related articles
- Resolving Conflict 101 (chrisjacksononline.net)
- Conflict Resolution at Work For Dummies (ronnychristianto.wordpress.com)
- Should I Confront That Conflict? (connecttimes.com)
- Resolving Conflict Starts with Listening (thesearchforleadership.wordpress.com)
2 responses so far ↓
Rick // Sep 21, 2011 at 2:57 pm
Although it is not easy, especially if you are personally immersed in the conflict, the best way to manage and resolve conflict is to remove the emotional drama from the situation. Once the emotional drama is gone, everyone can objectively evaluate the situation. You can identify the issues and then work on a solution.
Kings fire Westphal, bring in Smart as new coach « feceritynepo // Jan 7, 2012 at 6:40 pm
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