Human Resources 101

In his post, “7 Quick Tips For Managing Your Friends At The Workplace,” Andrew Rondeau gives some good advice on dealing with friends who are now direct reports.

What about the other side of the equation? Your friend has been promoted and is now your boss. What kinds of things can you do to make the relationship work?

Here are six tips for supporting a friend when they become your boss:

1. Keep your expectations reasonable. The relationship has changed. Things will be different. Your friend will be dealing with a new set of pressures, problems and priorities. Your Wednesday lunches may be preempted by budget meetings. You may not be able to pop into your friend’s office for a chat any time you feel like it. Don’t add more pressure to your friend by expecting things to remain as they were.
2. Be respectful – Treat your friend with an appropriate level of workplace courtesy in formal settings. The departmental meeting is not the place to trot out the boss’s college nickname (unless everyone uses it).
3. Maintain confidentiality – Assume everything your new boss tells you is confidential. This is particularly important with past conversations. You shared past confidences as friends; keep the information to yourself. Maintain your integrity in the relationship.
4. Don’t inflate self-importance – It is easy to make it seem like you have special access to the boss. Resist the temptation to tell others how you think the boss will respond, based on your past history.
5. Avoid being used – Co-workers may see your connection to the boss as a way to work office politics. They might see you as an information conduit to the new boss. Politely resist any advance from other employees. Look for ways to help build a team.
6. Be “there” for the boss – People are going to be watching the new boss, looking for weaknesses. This is not the time to leave your friend hanging. Look for ways to counter the negativity. Make productive contributions to work meetings and discussions. Maybe you can be a neutral sounding board when the boss needs to cool down.

The process that made your friend the boss was out of your control. How you respond to the new relations is completely within your control. Get your ego and assumptions out of the way. It’s time to show what kind of friend you really are.